My best friend of 10 years is driving me crazy. We have an odd relationship, I am the crazy one but who has always kept my head above the water. Whereas my best friend is the more moderate one who takes nothing seriously. But we both get along like a house on fire. Although our friendship dynamic changes with age and experiences, we never judge each other. Well we never used to anyway.
My best friends former relationship lasted for 3 years. She has been single for over a year now, in the meantime having fun and a couple one night stands along the way. Things started to change when I introduced her to an old friend of mine, a guardian for a school friend when the school friend stayed in the UK. This gaurdian I had dinner a couple of times around his house, babysat his kids once. Family consisted of his wife and 3 children, one being 8 years old and slightly challenged. An overall happy family.
So when I left to go to my boyfriends house I gave my key to my best friend so she didn’t have to pay for a taxi and my flat was 5 minutes away. I was mortified calling her the next day to find out how the night was, to find that the gaurdian had just left my flat. And that they had in fact, had a fumble!
I asked her if he was still married etc and they was. Call me naive but I honestly thought that would be the last time I heard of him. But she informed me that they have been texting but only certain hours because of the wife. I was mortified. My moral code clashing severely with my best friend.
A couple of months this has been going on, he has now been kicked out of the house living in a flat so she could go there. Due to suspicious messages found on his phone (hers!). I have never been too pushy for her to stop but more so tried showing her the reasons as to why she should, the hurt it will bring on the family as a whole, the wife may need support from her husband with her children. The reasons are endless.
Yet, people don’t listen and I understand it is hard for her when she has feelings there. But the last straw was when she told me that he is attending marriage counselling and going on a holiday with his wife. You wouldn’t do those things if you are mentally ready for a divorce? That’s rekindling and salvaging. It was this that I looked at her getting defensive by my response that I looked her differently, I judged her.
I realised that this was damaging my friendship, what we used to talk about serious/ or stupid stuff became an obsession about this guy! So my plan is to brush the future texts about this man under the carpet and take her mind off it by going on a couple nights out- hoping that she will forget!
ah friendships are hard no matter how long you have known each other.
Before anyone mentions it, I do not bash him or support his decisions and as you can see I have not discussed my opinions on this man. Primarily because I am not in a friendship with this man and could not care about his problems as it is his life!
Crazy how morals can entwine our lives, our thoughts and even shape relationships and our future.
Often love can both create and diminish these morals, after all, love is blind.