Telling your partner why

I listened carefully to what he was saying, ‘ I cant believe my ex wife didn’t tell me, why would she not?’, ‘ I feel bad that she had to put up with my sister alone, that she actually felt the need to email my auntie’. I thought for a minute whilst driving, should I have told him a possible reason to his ex wife leaving him. I knew he always wanted to know, i knew it bothered him. So when I found out what it could have been, i knew it was the right thing to do. But hearing him go on, made me nervous, made me regretful. Made my heart slither to my throat. I tried to light a cigarette as he stared out the window in silence. That’s it between us, three years of my life wasted. I thought about where i was gunna live, how i was gunna get over it, what was gunna happen to our dog. Just series of questions came to my head, and a tear rolled down my right cheek. But i love him. I was grateful the tear fell on the side he could not see. He loves his ex wife, not me, all the times we have together, I am just a rebound. I sat there more in silence, thinking about what i was gunna say to him. I thought about right and wrong, my morals. So i just said it, ‘Max, what i am gunna say, i do not want you to freak out, i really don’t. Floyd and I do not have to leave tomorrow, I will stay in the house til i find somewhere, but, if you wanna message your ex wife, let her know that you know, then that’s fine, ill even help you write the message, you deserve to be happy’. I couldn’t believe i said it, i looked at him for that second, and my heart fell back into place, but shattered in a million pieces. This is really happening i thought.

He waited a minute, which felt like a lifetime. ‘Are you joking me?’, ‘ if you loved me you wouldn’t even think like that, how can you be so stupid, I love you and only you. I was just shocked as to why it was never mentioned to me, I was just shocked!’. Those words meant the world to me, but i still asked, ‘are you sure?’

 

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